My baby is a little girl

It’s official we’ve hit the terrible twos and I do not feel prepared at all. I actually feel completely lost.
My sweet little girl who was happy just to hold my hand and watch pleasantly, is now exploring her environment and testing her independence. This translates to straying to far from mommy and climbing on furniture after I told her it’s not cool. She has also taken to biting her friends at daycare, which I am certainly not impressed with and addressing immediately.

I knew parenting would be hard, I expected it. It is a different kind of hard, one you could never prepare for, when you become a parent you have all these preconceived notions and expectations that seem like the answers. Then the baby comes and challenges every single one of those options. I met Alyson Schafer, psychotherapist and Canadian parenting expert and she reaffirmed that I needed to throw all those preconceived notions and solutions out the window and roll with the punches. I need to remind myself daily about this.

My Lil’ Cupcake is her own person, and I can not control her, to a degree. I am responsible for teaching her. I AM RESPONSIBLE. The past few days, I have come to realize that she will learn a lot more from me if I model behaviour rather than react to behaviour. I need to show her how to act by doing. It is especially clear that she learns more from seeing and doing. I know she is not perfect, and neither am I. Most importantly I need to remember she is still learning and that how I handle the situation will teach her more than anything else. I have to keep my cool, ignore the behaviours that I don’t approve of, teach her lessons in socialization by encouraging gentle, friendly behaviour and encourage her and praise her with positive reinforcements. Sure, I could bribe her, use fear and self-doubt, but in the long run, what does that teach her? I need to lead by example and let her know what is right and wrong in her actions.

Many people told me parenting is the hardest thing they have ever done, I am up to the challenge - a challenge that scares me, because I am responsible for her and who she will ultimately become. I want her to be confident, considerate and reliable. I want her to be able to think on her own and make the best decisions, not worry about what others think – I know that comes in the teenage years and we will have to cross that steep and rickety old bridge when we get there.

Over the past few days as my Lil’ Cupcake transitioned from a baby to a toddler embarking on independence, I have really been conscious of her behaviours. This past weekend was extremely hard and I came to the slow conclusion that things need to change, ASAP. I spoke to a friend’s sister who specializes in child psychology, and she recommended a few board books by Elizabeth Verdick to help the Lil’ Cupcake with manners, and understanding. I am going out tonight to my local chapters to pick up “Teeth are not for biting,” and “Hands are not for hitting.” The Lil’ Cupcake loves to read, so she may find these books entertaining. My sister-in-law who is also a child care provider also recommended the books. Two recommendations, both with multiple children and experience teaching children, I trust their recommendations.

Just to be clear, I am still nervous about what’s ahead of me as I fling myself head first into the Terrible Twos. However, one can only hope that they will be a piece of cake, or a little kinder than to the upcoming Trying Threes and the Fu*king Fours. Lord help us if I don’t own stocks in Starbuck and Dirty Laundry Wine by the time the Lil’ Cupcake turns into a teenager.

I’m pretty sure I am the only person out there who has yet to read: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Twilight, and now the Hunger Games.

For some reason, I am just not inclined to read them. I actually have little desire to read them or watch the movies. Is there something wrong with me? I don’t know what all the hype is about, probably because I did not read the books. I am sure they are amazing books, they would have to be because of the grossing sales, but please some one explain to me why people are in a tizzy.

I blame it on one of my co-workers. We have very little in common and she is obsessed with pop culture. She knows which Kardasian is dating whom, which marriage is on the fritz and can tell you the ins and outs of the werewolf and vampire. I don’t even know which one is a vampire or the werewolf, is one of them named Ron. Ok, I’m not that bad, but I know which character belongs in which story – kind of, but not personally. I’m not on a team and I don’t have a twig wand or a ring, and I am not sure what objects are sacred in Hunger Games, but I am sure there are some.

I claim I don’t have time to read, but I am trying to read 100 books this years. I am making the time to read books that interest me. These books were written for young adults and teens. I guess I just don’t get it, and never will. I may in the future read these books, when the Lil’ Cupcake is interested, so we have something to talk about, but in the meantime, I’ll continue to read my hodgepodge of mismatched genre books.

So, while millions of people sit in their theatre seats at midnight anticipating the screen to light up and bring their favourite characters to life, I will be at home sleeping, hopefully. Here’s to what I am sure another box office hit that I will miss.

Days of the week

Wow, the days of the week/ February flew by. Sorry for not entertaining you. I can't believe how busy it has been. Here's a recap:
- I started writing for Urban Infant, so exciting
- Work has been ridiculously busy.
- Getting ready for our trip to Abbotsford/Vancouver/Seattle
- Tweeting back and forth with my tweeps: check out who tweeted me back, insert dork.
- Trying to figure out what to wear for our family photos with Carol-Ann Photography when we are in Vancouver
- Ensuring we have clean clothes, healthy food and generally breathing.

Amongst that, DH travelled to Vancouver for his buddy's stag, leaving the Lil' Cupcake and I alone for the weekend. It was a snowy weekend so we hung out, played, ran some errands and generally didn't do to many crazy things. Unlike, what I am sure my hubby and nine other guys got up to. Especially if this is any indication of how their night went.  This was one of many photos I recieved during the day of the stag, and in my opinion, the most humourous.

I guess boys will be boys. But now I wonder if DH was cheated out of a wild and crazy stag, because all he got was a day out in Edmonton that included running havoc on West Edmonton Mall. Congrats Zallisers, can't wait to see you guys get married.

Oh how the mighty shoe falls

Now that I am older and a mom, I feel like my style has gone out the window. I haven’t traded in my dress pants for lululemons, but I have traded in my stilettos for more practical ballet flats.

Out for lunch the other day, I sat talking to my girlfriend about how in our younger days we spent eight to twelve hours wearing the highest and more fashionable heels we could find. And we did not only wear them out to the clubs or events, we wore them to work. Some times they were a conservative one inch kitten heel and some days called for the three inch power black heel. But every day we wore a pair of heels, our closets equipped with shoes to fit any occasion. Three pairs of different black heels were a must. A pair of stylish kitten heels matching our cute flowy summer dresses waiting for the snow to thaw and a pair of fierce fuschia pink with metal spiked heels sat ready and waiting for a night out dancing.

At that time, I had 37 pairs of heels, not just shoes, but heels. Brown ones, pink ones, patterned ones, sparkly, beaded and flip flop styles. I dreamed of owning a pair of Blahnik's, Choo's and one day Louboutin's,  I loved my shoes, and I still do. But now that I am older, I find I can’t wear heels for very long anymore. I know they aren’t good for my bones, back or feet, but some days I still long to wear my pretties.

The Lil’ Cupcake is already getting into the shoe fetish. She is particularly drawn to the fierce fuschia pink with metal spiked heels that sit in my closet bagging for an occasion to be worn. But now that I don’t go out dancing very much, they hardly see the pavement, unless the Lil’ Cupcake is playing with them.

After my dear friend D and I recalled our current work and everyday shoe collection made up of a pair of Toms for casual Friday, a pair of Uggs for walking in the snow, and a pair of black high gloss patent leather ballet flats for work, she sadly said “Oh how the mighty shoe fiends have fallen.” I thought it happened because I was a mom, but D doesn’t have children, and she has also fallen victim to comfort and flats.

Sadden by our new found realization that our fashionista selves are getting lazy, we decided spring is just around the corner, and we need to shop and find key pieces, blouses, pants, and SHOES. Off the Pinterest we go, to find our new improved and mature fashionista selves. Now if I could just figure out an awesome style for my hair. If anyone wants to have a makeover day, I give you permission to call me up.

Timi & Leslie Giveway

Diaper bags, the go to accessory when outing with the baby. Have you seen the Timi & Leslie Diaper Bags. Drool. They are fantastic, fabulous and functional. I love them. I recently purchased one, and I am in love. I loved it so much, I grabbed two, one for me and one for a friend who is expecting in July. We both love our diapers. It comes with everything, including a cute little wristlet for mom to stash the purse essentials, debit, credit and starbucks card.

If you haven't checked them out yet, head on over, I'll wait...Ok, now that your back, you must enter the Plush Little Baby Giveway for the newest colour Cocoa Brown Annette Bag. Another drool worthy bag. And if I haven't convinced you, and it's free hasn't convinced you, how about the idea that it is the bag that Celeb mom's like Jessica Alba, Victoria Beckham, Alyssa Milano, Courtney Cox, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman and Faith Hill all carry one.  Alright now, go and entre the Giveway. Because it is FREE, and really who doesn't like free.

10 things about me

Not too long ago the world was a big place, but with the introduction of the World Wide Web, and new social media tools always popping up, the world seems as though it is getting smaller.

Sure you may have a mutual friend with someone across the ocean, a twitter connection with someone backpacking through Europe, but do you really know that blog writer? Over the past two years, I have been following some great blogs. Through the blogs I have learned a lot, but do I really know them. Not really, I don’t know their likes, or hates or what makes them, them.

In an effort to personalize and connect with you, my readers, I wanted to share 10 things about me that make me, me.

1. I love oranges, but I can’t eat them because they give me migraines. Boo.
2. I fell off a road and tipped over a 300-hundred ton truck when I was 18 years old.
3. I can’t get anything accomplished if the area is messy or untidy.
4. I am an only child
5. Sometimes, I wish I had siblings
6. I have no fillings, crowns or any sort of dental measures in my mouth
7. Goal for 2012 is to read 100 books.
8. I bite my nails
9. Pop makes me sneeze and hurt my throat, so I have to put water in it to tame the carbonation, and yes, people make fun of me.
10. I love the mountains, it is one of my favourite places to rest and relax.

There you have it, 10 things about me, which was actually quiet hard to do. Leave me a comment about something that makes you uniquely you.

I am mom, hear me roar

The past week, Twitter and the blogsphere has been blowing up about mom-wars. Here's my response.

Me, the Lil' Cupcake and my mom in Kauai last Christmas


Initiation is nine months, hours of painful labour, teething and sleepless nights. Building a family, raising a child and harbouring fond memories of each delicate moment is the invisible reward in which we seek.

My uniform is simple, a ponytail, comfortable Toms and whatever clean clothes are seen first when I stumble from the bed. My weapon of choice, a classic tote slung over the right shoulder ready with an arsenal of equipment for any climate, season or mishap. I am Mom.

I wear split-up, snot and slobber as a badge of honour. I often have smears, smudges and unidentifiable messes on my clothes. They are my battle wounds that I wear proudly and signify that I am a member of the not-so-secret society of warriors. I am Mom.

There is no special handshake or card; we are identified by the babies on our hips, the small hands in our hands, and the pictures on our phones.

We are gold card carrying member of the Starbucks club, Tim Horton's or Second Cup, which help us stay awake. We drink coffee like a champ and can pee faster than Michael Phelps can swim a lap. I have hearing that can put a dog to shame, and have hugs that can stop crying in midstream. We are Moms.

My little hawaiian princess. Photo by Modern Twist Photography

The future holds many decisions, lessons and rewards. The unknown is scary and exciting. Each milestone reached, each obstacle achieved, and every problem solved brings exhilaration only known by a mom.

With a nod and a smile, we are the same. Some will judge, others will snicker, but respect should be mutual. In the end, we all have a common goal: to raise happy and kind little people. No matter the choices we have each made for our little humans, we have made the best decisions for us.

Respect is mutual. We are the voices for our children, and we are Moms.

Wordless Wednesday

The Zoey dog

Cleaning house, au natural

I do not consider myself a crunchy mom, a granola mom, or a green mom, but I do try to make the best choice for my family that save us money and the planet. I am well aware of the harsh chemicals in cleaners and the impact they have on our air and watershed, not to mention our immune systems, but I am also conscious about how to have a clean, germ free home. I, like the next mom, had always used what my mom used, and what her mom before her used.

Like the old adage goes, a house is only as clean as it smells, and that smell was always bleach and harsh chemicals. The chemical smell always annoyed me and gave me a reason to hate cleaning bathrooms, not to mention the dry, cracked and irritated hands, persistent cough, and watery eyes that resulted after spraying down the shower. All this makes for such an enjoyable experience, right? If only I followed the directions on the bottle, you know the ones that say wear gloves when using cleaner and use only in well-ventilated areas. Right, because all bathrooms are well ventilated with the tiny fans and the windows that rarely open. When DH and I bought our condominium, I decided to switch to the popular brand green line cleaner. You know, the one with the yellow daisy, but with the traditional name still it on. I found the cleaners’ worked well, but they still had the smell, and they still irritated my hands.

When we moved into our new house, while we were expecting, my mom helped me clean the house. She went out, bought the cleaners and left a bottle of bathroom cleaner on the kitchen counter; it fell over and spilled on the counter and floor. It ate away the finish on the laminate counter and the floor. My husband cleaned it up before he went to work and threw the in the sink, it burned the stainless steel sink. The offending cleaner left black marks in my sink, a white spot on my floor, rough patch on my counter, and me wondering what caustic substance is in my household cleaner. Moreover, why am I using it in my house? At that moment, I decided all cleaners with unpronounceable names and chemical ingredients were no longer welcome in my house.

My search was not difficult I came up with many solutions. To narrow down my choices, I ask myself, can I pronounce the ingredients and if ingested, would I be ok? If the answer is yes, it can come in the house. If no, it stays at the store. Even though my cleaning products are generally safe, I keep them up and out of reach of the curious little hands that like to put everything into her mouth. I no longer use window cleaners – I use Norwex cloths. Toilet bowl cleansers or all-purpose cleaners are now replaced with all-purpose vinegar. I started using Method disinfectant for the Lil’ Cupcake’s toys and high chair, and I keep Clean Well hand sanitizer wipes in the diaper bag ready for use when we are out and about. I feel better about my cleaning products and the minimal impact they have on my family and my environment. I no longer have to worry about my hands or choking on fumes, but I still hate cleaning bathrooms, but my house smells fresh, looks clean and if I want to eat a piece of fruit off the floor, because I dropped it again, I don’t have to worry about what chemicals I am eating inadvertently, which is always a good thing when you have a child.  

A case of the Monday's

It’s Monday. That is all I can say about that. It’s Monday and once again, I have a big case of Mom Guilt.

As a full-time working mom, I often commute to work wondering why I do it. Why do I work? It is obvious, to pay the bills, and put food on the table, but other than that, why? I would rather be home playing with the Lil’ Cupcake, baking, painting toes and fingernails, reading stories and having living room dance parties. Now that sounds like much more fun.

According to Statistics Canada, 65 per cent of women in Canada are full-time working moms and another 20 per cent are part-time working moms. I could bet you, that most of the 85 per cent of these moms feel mom guilt at some point during the week. It is difficult to leave your child with people who spend more time in the day with your child.

Most women return to work for necessity, because they enjoy their jobs or for the most part a combination of the two. I am in the latter category, I really enjoy my work and I needed to return to pay the bills. I was excited to return to work, but conflicted because I had to leave my little girl. To realize that I would only get to spend a maximum of two to two and half hours with her every night during the weekday is terrible and the one thing that plagues my thoughts every Monday. These thoughts make me wonder, and search daily, for opportunities that would allow me to work from home part-time in addition to a career that gets me out of the house.

Honestly, I need to work. I enjoy working and I enjoy my career. As much as I love my family, to be the best person I can be, I need to work. I would love to work part-time in my career and part-time in a fun job. I was once asked what my dream job was, and at the time I named it, little did I know that I would achieve that dream job by 27, I’ve been in that dream job for three years, I’ve had a child, the dream has changed.

My dream job now consists of a multitude of things. First off, the organization has to be family friendly that is a requirement. Next, it would allow lots of creativity, writing, editing and creating layouts of documents along with picking suitable graphics. I would provide strategic communications advice for a variety of audiences. I would help build and maintain a brand and enhance an image. Sometimes help plan an event for local people to attend, and create the communications materials to supplement the event. I am organized, efficient and looking for the opportunity that will allow me the freedom to be with my family and still enjoy my work.  

In the end, daycare has been a positive experience for our Lil’ Cupcake, but the mommy guilt is casting a shadow on it all. I would love for her to stay at daycare, but have the flexibility to work three or four days and have a fun part-time job that would allow me to have financial freedom and spend the day with the Lil’ Cupcake. On those days we would play, dance and paint fingernails.

Pintrest Party Inspiration

The founders of pinterest, I praise your ingenuity. Pinterest, if you live under a rock, is a fabulous site that acts like a bookmark of all your favorite pictures on the World Wide Web. In a nutshell, it is awesome.

I have found so many ideas on there, it has become a hobby of mine, pin, pin, pin. I have begun to neglect other things, such as blogging, just to spend time look at pretty pictures and inspirations from pintrest. I've also found a crap load, 516 to be exact, pins of delicious recipes. I can't wait to try them all.

But with all the yummy looking food, Pinterest has also made we want to throw a fun stylized party, for what, I don't care, I just want to throw a party and serve finger foods, decorate my house in fun festive bunting flags, tissue paper pompom things and pretty napkins and table linens. And of course cupcakes, or a dessert bar.

Darn Pinterest for making my eyes twinkle with anticipation of throwing a party.